9/19/2023 by James Fedewa

I recently bought a pair of soccer cleats for my 14 year old daughter. We were in a rush, since my daughter just made the Snohomish High School JV soccer team and the first day of practice was the next day. The loaner-pair of cleats she was using were too large, but good enough for her to get by at tryouts (thank you Avery ⚽). We had to go somewhere quick (but brick & mortar), so we could not wait for a pair to be delivered. Off to Dick’s Sporting Goods Warehouse in Lynnwood, WA…. and nothing. She did not like those styles (plus the Dick’s Warehouse is a giant free for all that looks like a mega swap-meet). Yes, a 14 year old girl can be a bit a bit finnicky, but I get it. She wants what she wants, so we tried another place: Big 5 Sporting Goods down the road (still in Lynnwood, WA). She finds a pair of Adidas and we buy them, but the next day she says the cleats are too big (for some odd reason). We then returned them a couple days later ( in Monroe, WA) and that store did not have any sizes, styles or options she liked. 

A couple days later, I was near a Dick’s Sporting Goods (by myself, without the daughter, in Tukwila, WA). I took photos and video of their cleat selection for my daughter to see (remotely) and she approved a pair. I bought some Nike cleats this time, brought the cleats home and turns out they were too large (so I return them to Smokey Point, WA a couple days later). By this time, I am now an expert at Adidas and Nike soccer cleats, my daughters cleat preferences, brand-sizing differences and the conversion/size rate between men’s and women’s shoes. And of course, the Smoky Point, WA Dick’s store did not have any styles my daughter wanted (which was actually my error – She would have been OK with some blue & pink Nike cleats, that I thought she did not want). So my story could have ended here, if I just knew she liked the pink and blue cleats – so my expertise in anything soccer and shoes is immediately terminated.   

(yet, these pink and blue cleats look a little… cold & disposable)

A couple days later, I’m working near the Nike Outlet Store in Marysville, WA so I stop by for a brief second. Sure enough, I found ONE pair of cleats in the whole store, but they are probably going to be wee-bit large (7.5M). I bought them anyways because they were discounted to $42 and our budget was $100. “Ring/Ring” – My wife calls. “…what are you doing, buying all these soccer cleats? No more cleats James. You are trying too hard. Make sure she’s with you when you buy them…”

But I convince my wife that I found the best cleats and they look & feel amazing. I begin to take a photo of the cleats, to show her, and just noticed that they were Lacrosse Cleats! Wrong sport (you big dummy – it says lacrosse on the damn shoe), so I returned them 10 minutes later.    Since I am already at the outlet mall, I may as well walk to the Adidas Outlet Store (still in Marysville, WA / but the opposite side of the mall). And sure enough, I find some nice Adidas cleats, that should fit “The-Daught” and look like she may like them. So I buy those and take them home. Sure enough, they were too big.  

Meanwhile, my daughter has now played in four JV soccer games, has practice or games five days a week, and is still in her loaner-cleats (thanks Avery ⚽). Double meanwhile, I found out that the Adidas soccer cleats she bought two year ago, are the same exact size that we are looking for Right Now (6.5 men’s Adidas or 7 men’s Nike). So in reality, I’m running around for NOTHING! She has shoes that still fit.

“…but Dad, those cleats are old and now give me blisters (to the bone)…”

Ok, I get it… But, F&$% M# R=$^&/G!!!!

The next day we returned the cleats to the Adidas Outlet in Marysville, WA and drive back to Dick’s Sporting Goods in Smokey Point, WA for another swing.  She tried on about three pair of cleats (begged for the new Ja Morant Nike basketball shoe – No! wrong sport), even looked at the Puma cleats, but she did not want any of them (as we are only looking for Men sizes 6.5 to 7, which is very limited at many brick & mortar stores).   The Nike cleats she really anted were not in stock, and the pink and blue ones were no longer available.

…BUT, by miracle and a crazy-chance, the salesman found a random pair of Nike Phantom GX Pro FG Soccer Cleats in men’s 7’s buried in the back (not listed on his software).  And a perfect fit!   We’ll take them…

We go to check out, the Nike cleats rang up as $165 (and we were at a $100 budget). OH NO!!!!! We walk back to the salesman, he grabs the display shoe and the pricing was incorrect (listed at $95).  The salesman said the cleats were mismarked on the display wall, their bad, so they will HONOR that price.   Dick’s Sporting Goods saves the day!  And THANK YOU for honoring the price. In hindsight, we will try to be more prepared, save time and buy on-line, lol, but timing is everything, especially for the freshman girl, who just made the high school JV soccer team 3 weeks ago.

Before we even found the last Nike cleats, Emmery has now scored 5 goals* in her last two games (in loaner cleats – thanks Avery). A winner knows what she wants, even at the expense of her dads gas budget, and 200 miles of driving for the perfect pair soccer of cleats.

* two of her goals did not count, because of a miscalled offsides and poor “roughing the goalie” penalties. – Fun Fact: did you know that Washington JV soccer (and volleyball) games only get one official per game, with zero linesmen? Yet varsity gets all three referees (1 v 3). Please help stop the shortage in youth sports “Referees for Youth Sports” – we prefer fair games (and six official eyes per game). And you can help too; Volunteer to be a youth referee! It is more than just volunteering too, since you can get paid for it – cash money. Its not only paid, but it’s fun, excellent exercise and a hobby you can do for decades. Plus you get to be a boss… The extra value bonus for refereeing youth sports : you are helping your community!